In this lawyer email gem, the HR rep was too lazy to do a full-on cut and paste of standard rejectext. Instead she just forwarded a previously used rejection, leaving the indents–and the different color text–in the bulk of the email. Hey, at least they changed the first name.

Subject: Ross, Dixon & Bell, LLP

Dear [FIRST NAME],

> Thank you very much for expressing an interest in a position with our
> firm and providing us with a copy of your resume.
> We have recently completed hiring for our summer class of 200X and,
> unfortunately, will not be able to offer you a position for this
> summer. However, we hope that you remain interested in our firm and
> strongly encourage you to re-apply next Fall for the summer of 200Y.
> We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
>
>
>
> [REDACTED]
> HR Assistant
> Ross, Dixon & Bell, LLP
> 2001 K Street
> Washington, DC 20006
> 202.662.2146
> www.rdblaw.com

No disclaimer!?!? Wow and this is a law firm? That alone puts this cover letter miles ahead of McDermott Will & Emery, with their whopping 83-word disclosure. So, kudos to you, lazy forwarding asses that you are.
Point breakdown after the jump:

• Objective: +1 (“thank you”) -1/5 (“unfortunately”) +2 (encouraged to reapply) = 2.8
• Subjective: -7 for the complete lack of initiative in forwarding the email (lawyer speak: punitive damages) = -7
• Total: -4.2

All-in-all, not a terrible score considering it’s a bunch of lawyers. Until next time, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the forward button.

Oh you lawyers, always with the sincerity in your rejections. As we previously noted, we’ve been overrun with law school and law firm rejections. We thought that this particular law firm rejection was a good start. After all, apparently all 1,100 lawyers at McDermott Will & Emery are too busy accolading to do a mail merge with their unsuccessful candidates.
As you’ll notice below, the head recruiter delegated the menial task of the rejection letter–one of our favorite moves. But on the real, it’s pretty freaking lame that these folks didn’t even mail merge the applicants’ names in to the rejection email. And that ridiculously long disclosure at the end? Well that’s going to cost them in the points; more below.

From: [UNIDENTIFIED PERSON]
Cc: [RECRUITING COORDINATOR]
Subject:[BLANK]

Sent on behalf of [LEGAL RECRUITING MANAGER]

Thank you for your inquiry regarding summer employment at McDermott Will & Emery’s [REDACTED] office. Although we sincerely appreciate your interest in our Firm, we regret that our needs do not permit us to invite you in to interview for a position in our 200[X] Summer Program. Even though we are not able to consider you for a position this summer, we encourage you to contact us this fall regarding our 200[X] Summer Program and visit our website at www.mwe.com to learn more about us.

We look forward to hearing from you next fall. Good luck with the remainder of your first year.

Sincerely,

[LEGAL RECRUITING MANAGER]
Legal Recruiting Manager
McDermott Will & Emery LLP
340 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10173

*******************************************************************************************************************
IRS Circular 230 Disclosure: To comply with requirements imposed by the IRS, we inform you that any U.S. federal tax advice contained herein (including any attachments), unless specifically stated otherwise, is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purposes of (i) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter herein.
________________________________________________________________________________

This message is a PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL communication. This message and all attachments are a private communication sent by a law firm and may be confidential or protected by privilege. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the information contained in or attached to this message is strictly prohibited. Please notify the sender of the delivery error by replying to this message, and then delete it from your system. Thank you.
*******************************************************************************************************************

Please visit http://www.mwe.com/ for more information about our Firm.

Point breakdown after the jump. Here’s how the points shake out:

• Objective:-1 (lacking salutation) -1 (signatory different than typist) -2 (received via email) -3 (BCC on email) +1 (“thank you”, though this -2/5(“regret” “our needs”) +2 (encouraged to reapply) -83/10 (83 words in disclaimer, IRS disclaimer omitted) = -12.7
• Discretionary: -1 (lameness of the disclaimer, mitigated on account of these guys being lawyers and all) = -1
• Total: -13.7

Wow. As you can tell from the minimal discretionary penalty, we thought that, generally, MW&E weren’t too bad. That whole lacking mail merge thing is pretty lame, but the actual text of the letter showed some consideration for the rejected. Disclaimers can really set you back in this dog-eat-dog world of rejection letters, so watch out. Until next time, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the mailbox.

It isn’t news to anyone, but the 2000 classic animated Rejected deserves a spot here on RL.net. Written and directed by Don Hertzfeldt, Rejected shows a few shorts he created for the Family Learning Channel and Johnson & Mills around the turn of the century. (Wow, that’s the only time we’ll write “around the turn of the century” outside of an American History high school report.) But don’t feel too bad for Donny boy, he’s collaborated with the likes of Mike Judge (as in he, hehe, he he he he, he–Beavis and Butt-Head Mike Judge) and had a few other successes along the way.

Without further ado: